Life without Lizzy

After the deeparture of Lizzy, my sister, the Bingleys and myself all enjoyed a delightful meal together. However, I so deeply with that Elizabeth could have been there. Her presence is need just as much as the air I breathe in, it hurts to be without her. It also pains me that she is going through some tough times right now due to Wickham. I absolutely detest that man for what he did to Georgianna. Now his less than decent conduct is starting to harm Elizabeth too.

Wickham and Lydia?

I have recently been informed by Elizabeth that Lydia, the youngest Bennett, has run away with Wickham. She heard about this via letter frome Jane. Also, it has been said that the family has not hard from Lydia for some time. Unfortunately this means that Lizzy had to leave earlier than I expected. I was extremely sad to see her go, but if it were my sister, I would do the same thing.

Some people need manners

Today I had the distinct pleasure of visiting Elizabeth at her inn. Mr. Bingley and Georgianna were also with us. We thought it best to invite her to dine with us at Pemberly the following evening. The next day after Lizzy's arrival, Georgianna begins to rudely bring upon the subject of the milita and the effect it poses on Lizzy's family. Elizabeth gracefully avoided the subject of Wickham, for which i am truly grateful. Again the oppertunity for me to proclaim my love for Lozzy prsented itself and i took it without so much as a backwards glance.

My walk with Lizzy and the Gardiners

Earlier today i saw Elizabeth and the Gardiners out on a stroll. I decided I should treat them to my presence, therefore I joined  the party. Elizabeth seemed to feel a little bit uncomfortable at my presence but alas, I had to see her. Regardless, I tried my best to be nice and gentleman-like to the Gardiners and to Lizzy. Afterwards, i had to go back to my estate to prepare for the arrival of the Bingleys and Geogianna. I also invited Elizabeth to meet Georgianna, hope all goes well!

How could I let this happen????

I can't stop thinking about her. She consumes my every thought! I just cannot believe that she said no. I was so sure of myself! I love her with my entire being but it saddens me to know that  she fels exactly the opposite.
I am so distraught about this entire affair. I dont want to see or speak to anyone. I just want to be left alone in this depressed state of mine.

I think she is catching on...

Every time I see Lizzy today, I can't seem to take my eyes off her! I am following her around like a puppy. I dont know what it is about her that I find so alluring! Her pride maybe? I suppose that is one theory. But nonetheless I do believe she is catching on to my undeniable affection for her.  I just can't seem to be away from her for any length of time. I can only hope that she feels the same way

The ring

This is the ring that I plan on giving her if she will agree to marry me! My sister, Georgianna, helped me pick it out. She still however, thinks Lizzy is too low for me, which of course I already knew about. But nonetheless I will ask for her hand in matrimony. I hope she likes the ring!

I'm so nervous!

I finally think that I will do it today! Today is the day that I will actually tell her how I feel. For so long I have loved her from afar, but now she seems so close that I can practically taste her sweet essense in the air around me. I am going to ask her to marry me later today! I hope she will say yes. But then again, why wouldent she?I am of course of so much higher rank then her..... But I digress. Wish me luck!